I had a really great experience today - kind of opened my eyes up again. Those involved will know what it was, and no one else really needs to know the specifics. I feel like it brought a part of me back to life - a part that hasn’t seen the light of day in hmm... 17, 18 months? Too long, to say the least.
I feel empowered. I feel strong. I feel like I can kick down the obstacles life seems to continually throw at me, and walk over the path created. It’s also good knowing I have support at my back, and that new friends are always just right around the corner.Opportunites arise, and yet you have to know which one to take advantage up. I recently took advantage of a professional opportunity that I’m optimistic about... I’ll know for sure on Monday. Either way, I’ll be happy, but it could be a really nice change for the good. Recognition of hard work and dues paid.
Today I had another opportunity of a personal nature that I didn’t take advantage of, and it turned out to be the right decision. After walking out of the situation, I was hot and bothered, first off. Very much so - I was exhilirated, excited, flattered, amazed...I was also confused and, well... nervous isn’t exactly the word I’m looking for, but it was a feeling close to being nervous. (Pensive and anxious? I don’t know...) I thought about my actions and decision the entire way home. I wasn’t able to concentrate on my book, or even the music. By the time I got home I was positive I had made a bad decision by choosing not to take advantage of this opportunity for some extra curricular activity.
I walked in the door, stipped clothes down to the essentials - panties and a tanktop - pissed at myself, and proceeded to clean the house. I clean when I’m thinking - if I can arrange physical things, I guess I can arrange my thoughts better as well. Besides, what can you do in a messy house? I mean, if your surroundings are cluttered, then your mind will be too, right? I had the music up loud, singing along and doing my best have-the-house-to-myself dance moves, trying to straighten out my racing thoughts...when Hamza got home. To say the least I took out my confusion on him in good time...and we did have an extremely good time. (insert evil knowing grin and a wink here) He told me exactly what I needed to hear, and coming from him it sounded RIGHT. Maybe not exciting and as exhilrating, but it felt like home, and I knew that I’d made the right decision after all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment